I'm so excited ...

... and I just can't hide it! 

I got a text from E today!!!!!!!! 

 ... after the longest day at work thus far, it was exactly what I needed. I hadn't realized just how worried I had been about him. Just knowing that he's okay is such a relief. 

With two days down, I've realized there are lots of things that E does throughout my day that makes my life so much easier & enjoyable ... and I hope I have been as appreciative of all those little things as I feel right now. As I've started counting the blessings he adds to my life I realize just how blessed I am just to have this amazing man in my life. 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

On a different note ... 

Not having Eric to fill all my down time & keep me entertained, I have had the opportunity to listen to catch up on sermons from one of my favorite Pastors, Steven Furtick, at http://www.elevationchurch.org/sermons 

One of the truths that has stuck with me today was the concept that you can only give as well as you receive.... such as, until you can receive forgiveness; you can't truly give it. I have realized that there are so many instances in my life I had truly tried to forgive individuals; when I now see that I hadn't received the forgiveness that Christ has given for my sins. That my failure to receive forgiveness left me incapable of understanding and being able to forgive anyone. 

Well, It's been a long day,

Always, 

Char

It's a process, not a project

Wow .... Sometimes realizing that you have to take things in stride, people as they are, and time as it comes are some of the hardest truths to wrap your head around.

Whether it be a woman who's excuse for hating you is that you're breathing & dating her son, or someone who wasn't raised to work for the paycheck they're receiving, or waiting a week to be able to talk to or see the love of your life, I have had to realize that other people's lack of morals should not compromise mine or stress me out & the time I have with the people I love should always be cherished & not wasted on pettiness or childish drama.

All I know I need at this point in life are Jesus, and those that bring a little Jesus into my life; whether by their love, their accountability, or their overall pureness of heart.

Always,
Char

PS: day 1 of E's six months of training started today at 4:15 when he left the house with a cup of coffee & a kiss goodbye. I sent my sweet darling off to conquer the world fulfilling the first step to his dream of becoming a game warden. :) this proud girl has shed quite a few tears today, I hadn't realized just how much I count on him everyday.

New Year ...

New Year, New Day! 

I am absolutely thrilled about the amazing new year, there are lots of big things that have come about for 2013! 

1. I start a new job, and hopefully a new career path!

... benefits & a steady paycheck! Cha-Ching!! Love knowing I'm going to have a little bit of financial security beginning this year & hopefully within the year will begin working toward becoming a Registered Nurse!!) 

2. Still in kicking it with E!
... working on 6 months with E, we've dealt with lots of craziness in that short time, and I know it's all going to be worth it. Although the first 6 months of 2013 we will spend 5 hours apart & only be seeing each other on the weekends with his new job ... but we are so thankful that he is finally on with the State of Georgia Department of Natural Resources as a Conservation Ranger!
((Visit a State Park soon, btw!)) 
http://www.gadnr.org/

3. Reading again!
So, for some reason I had gotten out of the habit of reading, and it turns out ... I have missed it, My first act of changing this was reading the ENTIRE Twilight Saga (all 4 books) within a week! Next up, I'm thinking ... Hunger Games! 

Twilight By Meyer, Stephenie (Google Affiliate Ad)

4. Gonna be on TV
So, had an amazing opportunity with two of my best gals to film in Atlanta for a show for Lifetime TV ((Double Divas))... had a chance to share a little Jesus in a lingerie shop ... yes, it's gonna make some good TV. Premiers January 10th :) 

http://www.mylifetime.com/shows/double-divas 

 

5. Made a few resolutions
... and then realized, that after 25 years of not keeping resolutions...my resolution would be to just be the best me I can. For Jesus, for my family, for my E, for my friends, for me.

Love to all,

Char

Birthday Wishes ...

My Birthday Wish:

 I am asking that each of

you do one random act of kindness in

Memory of the 26 innocent people who lost

 their lives Friday. Take a moment & write a

 little note to make sure the person knows it's

in remembrance & encourage others to

 Pay it Forward!

When pigs fly ...

Well, we put men on the moon... I think that's close enough!

I know that God did an amazing job differentiating men & women. Their chemistry,emotions, bodies...but one things for certain. Men & women both are essentially selfish creatures.

I'm amazed at the fact that I apparently only attract unavailable men (those emotionally incapacitated or those who are in relationships)

My grandma jokingly calls me "the mechanic" because I find broken men & fix them for the next girl ... I have a 85% success rate at dating a guy & him marrying the next girl he's with ...

I have had one man be faithful in all the dating relationships I've been in & yet I still hold onto this little sliver of hope that somewhere. There is a guy who is honest. Faithful. Kind.

Hopefully a brighter post tomorrow,
All love
Char

The friend zone

Sucks!
Yes, I went there. :)
If any of you have ever been in the friend zone you understand that it really and truly is a terrible place to be & at some point you just get sick of wondering if the friendship, respect, and mutual lighthearted flirting will ever lead to something more. Something solid. Something real. You wake up one day and realize that you've somehow formed feelings for this person you know is incapable of feeling anything for you and because those lines have been blurred somehow through the everyday random text conversations. Phone calls, realizing you miss seeing their smile, hearing their laugh, and knowing that you knew all along who you are isn't who they want a relationship with. You end up laying In bed. Angry because you allowed yourself to feel something for the first time based on respect. Kindness. Trust. honesty. But. It's your own fault. You knew from the beginning you'd never leave the friend zone. Well your head knew it. Your heart just got caught in the cross-hairs. So...the best thing to do is... RUN. Looks like i be going shopping for a new pair of running shoes tomorrow!

You can't ...

One of the reasons I love my friends, is their accurate assessment of the state of my heart. A very dear friend sent me the following message this morning,

"God is love and grace. He meets us where we are, and if we ALLOW Him to change us, then we will be changed. But you have to allow yourself humanity. God created the perfect you. The basic personality traits and character that you have is who HE created you to be. Follow Him? YES!!! Seek Him? ABSOLUTELY!!! But allow yourself to BE who God called you to be so that you can DO what He called you to do.

So, at 24, I have to figure out who I am. Not the person I've become because I've wanted to please everyone in my life. I'm me.

I'm loud when I'm happy, quiet when I'm mad, ill when I'm hungry, organized in a very chaotic way; and independent with the need for human contact. I'm strong for everyone around me, and rarely allow myself to cry in front of anyone. I have an insane love for UGA football & baseball, I love animals, and NASCAR & making things out of "junk"- I crave Mexican food & action movies (Jason Stathom is my favorite)
Yup. That pretty much sums it up :)
And God will use me, just as i am, and I love that about Him.