Friendship

Today was one of those days that I just needed my best friend. That one person I can count on no matter what. Who has committed to be there through the thick and thin. To be my word of encouragement, shoulder to cry on, and dose of reality when needed. I was blessed with a very large and loving family, but I have only a handful of true friends that I know will be here for me no matter what situation may arise. In a strange way all of my best friends came out of some of the worst situations that have occurred in my life...guess the cream will always rise to the top. Britt is that person for me. The one person, I believe knows my heart sometimes better than I do. She has stood by me, stood up for me, and sometimes even carried me through days like today. When I am to a point I honestly want to give up on letting anyone else into my life. Friend or otherwise. People just never cease to amaze me...If it weren't for her, there's a good chance I would honestly believe that everyone that walked into my life that wasn't related to me would leave. Take what they needed/wanted whether it be emotional or physical...and when they didn't need me anymore just walk away...like there was never a friendship, never a vulnerability, never a connection at all. Then I'm reminded of my daddy's favorite saying, " well, what's the common denominator?..." - and the answer is always ME ... and right now I am angry, I am hurt, and I am mad...and that's okay, but I hope I never understand that part of people that can just walk away, I hope that every time someone walks into my life I can still have the courage to give them part of who I am, even when I know they will walk away...because at the end of this life, I don't want look back and see that I had let my past hurts get in the way of any new friendship, that I gave my all to people, that maybe, just maybe those hours, or days, or months that I got to spend with everyone that walked into my life; maybe I meant something to them, maybe I helped just a little bring back something in their life they'd been missing. Maybe I showed them something about themselves they'd forgotten was there. Maybe I showed them a little bit about what love looks like. And who knows, maybe one day as my Papa says, "I will have enough true friends to carry my casket" ... but until that day comes, I will hold tight to the ones who are here, I will love them with all I am, and will forgive the hurt that is caused by those who chose to walk out of my life, because in the grand scheme of things, I know I am loved with an "everlasting love;
I [was] drawn you with unfailing kindness." - Jeremiah 31:3